"One-way streets and square one, The answers don't come from any one direction"

I live in Chicago with my boyfriend T and our mini-menagerie of 3 cats and 2 dogs. I have very little of world-changing importance to contribute but I like to see my words in print so I blog.
Apropos of Nothing
Awesome
City Wendy in the Windy City
Cruel Irony
Desperate Common Law Wives
Dooce
Eat A Peach for Love
EJShea
Finslippy
Fussy
Go Fug Yourself
Gripe du Jour
In My Life
Jen and Tonic
Jen Fu
Loobylu
Matilda Zine
Mighty Girl
Mihow
Mimi Smartypants
Not Well Planned
Pesky Apostrophe
Pound
Pretty Crabby
Que Sera Sera
Scott Bateman
Sheets and Blankets
Sparkwood & 21
Styrofoam Kitty
Suburban Bliss
Sweetney
The Anchored Nomad
The MidwestGrrl
The Redhead Papers
Things I Am Over
TranceJen
Very Zen
Weetabix
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Is there an illness, a for-real and certifiable illness, that displays with the primary symptoms being general crankiness, a lack of give-a-shit and a slightly sore throat? If so, I need to know the name. I am hopeful that I can spin my three month bout with said disease into some sort of disability claim. I need to be in my home, I am not fit for work and the only known cure is a month on a most deserted isle followed by a series of treatments involving happy elves showing up at my house and performing for my amusement.
Anyone?